


The Next Step

by Jayde_Janeway



Series: More Than A One Time Thing [2]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:33:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29390589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jayde_Janeway/pseuds/Jayde_Janeway
Summary: Sequel to More Than She Bargained For. This is a repost because I screwed something up and ended up deleting it so plz read again. Kathryn and Tom struggle with her depression as she juggles being a new mom and being a badass Captain. Intense, intriguing, oh and there’s sex (sorry not sorry).
Relationships: Kathryn Janeway/Tom Paris
Series: More Than A One Time Thing [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2158986
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. The battle

**Author's Note:**

> While I do not have kids and never Plan to and I don’t suffer from postpartum depression, I based this off of my own battles with depression. Being 16 right now is really hard and depression comes with a Big Bang. So if it doesn’t make sense to you it’s based on my experience. Enjoy! :)

We’ve been back on Voyager for a few weeks now and I’m still fucking sore. Tom and I have been taking turns with the girls but they both seem to think that parents don’t need sleep.

“You know this is the first time we’ve had any peace and quiet since you went into labor. I think we should make the most of it.” Tom says as he rolls over, on top of me, and kisses me.

I smile and kiss him back. His hand travels up my thigh and down my pajama pants and the other moves under my nightgown. His hands leave a burning trail on my skin and I moan. My hands wrap around his neck as our kiss deepens. I feel his hand brush my lace clad center and the other slide under my breast. 

Hailey starts crying. We both groan and Tom gets off of me.

“I’ll get her.” I say. It’s my job to get Hailey and Tom gets Shannon. It’s our deal. 

I walk into the nursery and pick Hailey up. I place her against my chest and shoulder and start lightly bouncing. Her crying dies down and she just wants me to hold her. I start spinning a little bit and I can feel her grip in my hair loosen. I walk with her over to Tom and I turn around. He nods and smiles at me. It’s our silent signal that she’s asleep. I walk back into the nursery and gently place her in her crib. I cover her up and place her stuffed bunny right next to her. She curls around her toy and I smile. I silently pad into the bedroom.

“Ok she’s asleep.” I say in a whisper.

He just nods and wraps his arms around my waist. He leans down and kisses me. His hands roam over my body. I pull back.

“Tom, stop.” I say.

He stops and looks at me.

“I know you don’t want to do this with me. You just want sex with someone. So you can go and find someone to do it with. I mean just look at me. I’m bloated and haggard and all around unattractive and my breasts are shot to hell due to breastfeeding. Ok so you clearly don’t want someone like me. I mean just look at me.” I say softly.

He sighs.

“Kathryn, we’ve been through this. I don’t find you unattractive. I find you stunningly beautiful and I love the fact that you just had my baby. I don’t want to be with anyone else but you. I know that this whole postpartum thing is hard on you. But I will never want anyone but you and you’re not fat or bloated in fact you’ve lost a ton of weight these past few weeks. I think you look sexy as hell as a new mother and I wouldn’t change a thing about you.” He says. He’s maintained eye contact with me the entire time and has been caressing my hip.

“You’re just saying that.” I say with a sigh.

“No I’m not. I love you, Kat, and I couldn’t feel prouder of the woman I get to share the rest of my life with.” He says with a kiss.

I shake my head. The doctor diagnosed me with postpartum depression two weeks ago and I think it’s starting to take a toll on Tom.

“Look, Tom, I know I’m a mess and I know it’s hard on you, but don’t stay with me out of pity. I won’t blame you if you leave me. It’s not fair to you if my being miserable makes you miserable.” I say.

Tom just sighs. We both lay back down and don't speak.

The next morning I get up and go into the nursery with two bottles. I hand one to Tom as he comes in so he can feed Shannon. He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my torso. He nuzzles my neck.

“Tom, stop. Just feed Shannon so we can eat.” I say, stepping away from him.

He sighs. I know I’m being harsh but I don’t want his attention. I’m a mother now. My priorities have changed. I may be the Captain, but I’m a mother first. And a girlfriend last.

Tom feeds Shannon and I place Hailey back in her crib. I leave and start replicating breakfast. Tom joins me a few minutes later and we eat. 

“Kathryn, I think we should talk.” He says.

“Well I don’t so please just drop it. Now hurry up and finish we need to leave in five minutes if we want enough time to drop the girls off at Neelixs ‘daycare center’.” I say.

He nods and I go and get everything ready for the girls. Once they are ready to go, we each grabe a baby and a diaper bag and we leave. 

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD 

Once we arrive at Neelix’s quarters, he greets us with a beaming smile. I smile back. 

“Hey Neelix. We just came to drop them off into your wonderful care.” I say. 

He smiles. Kathryn smiles too but it doesn’t reach her eyes. She hands Hailey to Neelix, places a kiss to her head, does the same to Shannon, then walks out the door.

“Trouble in paradise?” Neelix asks.

“She has postpartum depression and it’s really getting between us. I keep trying to just have a conversation with her, but it’s a battle each time. I’m going to ask Sam what to do and maybe Carey. I just want her to be happy but it seems she doesn’t want to be happy and I’m really concerned about her.” I say.

Benelux smiles sadly, cradling Hailey.

“She looks just like her mother.” He says, looking at Hailey.

I nod a smile. I lay Shannon down in one of the cribs and leave the bags next to it. I thank Neelix and head out the door.

I’m so worried about Kathryn. I wish we had a counselor onboard. I walk into the turbo lift and remember the time Kat and I couldn’t get enough of each other. She was about two months pregnant at the time.

We entered the turbo lift and called for deck 11. We were heading there from the bridge. I look at Kathryn and I turn her to face me and crash my lips into hers. She moans and wraps her arms around me. I back her into the wall and our hands start to travel. One of mine slides up her torso and cups her breast through her uniform and the other roughly grabs her thigh and she bends her knee and rests her foot flat against the wall. I move to unzip her jacket and she does the same. I untuck her shirt and run my hands under the fabric and across her heated skin. We both moan at the contact. My hand on her breast begins to knead and my other is placed firmly in her hip. We break for air and I trail kisses along her jaw and I nip and suck at her neck. I pull down the turtleneck and start marking her neck. She moans and I can feel my arousal. She slides her hands to my neck and runs her finger through the hair at the base of my neck. I push myself more firmly into her as I kiss my way back to her lips. She’s moaning and out tongues are sliding against each other. Neither one of us heard the turbo lift doors open. We hear a gasp. We rush apart and straighten our uniforms. B’Elanna and Harry stare at us with wide eyes and dropped jaws.

Kathryn nods at them and speaks.

“Lieutenant, Ensign. Have a nice morning.” She says as she walks past them.

I just smile.

“I trust that none of you will say anything about this. This is the Captain, ok, respect her privacy.” I say.

They both nod, still trying to recover from the shock. I just smile and walk with Harry as B’Elanna goes in search of the Captain.

I miss that side of Kathryn. She was so happy and carefree. Now she’s depressed and miserable and I just wish I could help her.

The turbo lift doors open and Sam steps in with Naomi.

“Heading to Neelix’s Daycare?” I ask with a smile.

She smiles and nods.

“Hey, Sam, can I ask you something?” I ask.

She nods.

“It’s about Kathryn. She suffers from postpartum depression and it’s really really bad. I’m really concerned about her. Any advice?” I ask.

“Computer, Halt turbo lift.” She says.

She turns to me and sighs.

“From what I’ve observed, Kathryn Janeway is a rather complex individual and sometimes her walls are so high that they’re trapping her. She loves you, Tom, but right now she’s struggling. She just became a mother, she doesn’t sleep, her attention is constantly divided, she is juggling so many responsibilities and on top of all of that, she’s wrestling with her own guilt and self loathing about what happened on Ocampa. She takes things incredibly personally and she feels things deeply. I think you just need to give her some space and some time. Maybe take the girls, bunk with me and give her a few days to rest. See if that helps. I’ll even talk to her about it.” She says.

“Thanks, Sam, that means a lot. I’m sure Kathryn would really appreciate that. Why don’t you talk to her about it. She won’t speak to me.” I say.

“I’d be glad to. Computer, resume turbo lift.” She says with a smile.

**/\\**

I approach Kathryn later that night about an idea. We’re eating dinner in our quarters while the girls sleep.

“Hey, Kat. I was talking with Sam today and she had an idea. She said that she would take Hailey and Shannon for a few days and give you some time for yourself. She noticed how you haven’t been yourself lately and was more than happy to suggest it. I told her I would talk to you about it first. I know you think I’m pushy and I get it but I just want you to be happy so can you please at least just think about it.” I ramble.

She sighs and regards me for a few moments.

“All right, Tom. Tell Sam I have graciously accepted her offer and I’ll pick a date for my little baby free me time.” She says.

I let out a breath. I was so not expecting it to end so painlessly. I thought there would be yelling, screaming, and/or bloodshed.

“I’m sorry, Tom.” She says, placing her hand in mine. 

“What for?” I ask, lacing my fingers with hers.

“I know my depression has been really hard on you. I’ve been cold and distant and I’m sorry. I know you’re trying. I just don’t recognize who I am anymore. I mean, I used to be Kathryn Janeway, the kickass Starfleet Captain who wasn’t afraid of anything. Now I’m a damn mess. And I’m sorry I’ve been taking it out on you. I love you, Tom and I’m grateful for the wonderful gifts you gave me with my pregnancy, but I’m just struggling to wrap my head around the person I’ve become.” She says sadly.

“Kathryn, you don’t need to be sorry. I love you and I’m not going anywhere. Having a baby changes a person. I know you’re depressed but I’m here for you. I think you just need a break for a few days, take a nice long bath, go to the holodeck, get drunk, get laid by your incredibly sexy pilot. You know, the works.” She chuckles.

“I really should reward you for being so good to me. Why don’t you ask Sam if she can take them tonight? I promise I’ll give myself to you completely tonight. We both deserve it and then WE SLEEP!” She exclaims. 

I message Sam and she’s more than happy to watch them tonight. We pack them up and head on over. We get into the turbo lift.

“I told Chakotay that I’m taking a week off for myself so I don’t have duty for a week. And I told him that you’re not working tomorrow either because you’re helping me with my recovery.” She says with a smile.

She’s lightly bouncing Hailey who has a strong grip on her hair. 

“Sounds good to me. I want you to know that we don’t have to rush anything. I’m here for you 100 percent and I’ll do whatever you want me to do.” I say.

She smiles at me and the doors open. We exit and head to Sam’s quarters. I ring her chime.

“Come in.” She says.

We enter and Sam is feeding Naomi. 

“Hey Samantha.” Kathryn says with a smile.

“Good Evening, Kathryn, Tom. You can put them over here in the nursery for now.” She says, pointing to her makeshift nursery. 

We move toward the small room and set them down in the play pen. They begin crawling around. I smile as Kathryn laughs.

“Thanks so much for doing this, Samantha. I’m really going to enjoy my week off.” Kathryn says.

“I’ll swing by tomorrow afternoon to pick them up.” I tell her.

“Don’t worry about it, Tom. Enjoy your night together and don’t worry about any of us.” She says with a smile.

We thank her again and head back to our quarters. Once inside the turbo lift, Kathryn jumps me.

As soon as the door closes, Kathryn turns towards me and kisses me. Hard. I moan and wrap my arms around her waist. I have her up against the wall in seconds and we’re both a mess. My hands are roaming her torso and hers are on my chest and back. Our jackets hang open and our shirts are untucked. Kathryn’s tongue slides along mine and my hand begins kneading her breast. My other is gripping her thigh which she has wrapped around my waist. She pulls me even closer to her as she deepens our kiss. We hear the doors open a second too late. We reluctantly pull apart. We stare at a very uncomfortable looking Harry and Kathryn and I exit. He nods at her and she smiles.

Once we get into our quarters, we resume where we left off. I start taking off Kathryn’s jacket and she releases me to take it off. Her turtleneck and tank top quickly follow. She returns the favor as I shove her into the nearest bulkhead. She moans and she takes her nails down my back. We separate for air and I nip my way down her neck. I’m definitely leaving marks but neither one of us cares. She’s kicking off her shoes and I’m releasing her hair from its pins on top of her head. We break apart and she shakes her head and finishes taking off her shoes and I do the same. We kiss again and I grab her hips. I push us back until her knees hit the bed and we topple on top of it. She giggles when we land.

I sit back on my haunches and stare at her. She’s resting on her elbows and her breasts are being pushed up by her crimson lace bra that is held together by a black bow in the center. I can see the hickeys on her neck and collar bones. Her hair is a tangled mess. I smile at her and reclaim her lips. I lean over her and she lies all the way back. I slide my hands down and slowly, I unfasten her pants. I lay on top of her and slip my hand below her waistband and into her panties. She moans and my other hand kneads her breast. She’s taking her nails along my back and I slide a finger into her folds. She increases her pressure on my back and moans. I start a rhythm and add a second finger. I change my angle and soon she’s panting into my mouth and I release her lips in favor of nipping at her breasts. She’s moaning and I add a third finger and increase the pressure and speed and I change the angle. My fingers find her g-spot and she’s writhing beneath me and moaning. My thumb flicks over her swollen clit and with a squeeze, she’s coming with a guttural moan. 

I kiss her down from her high and remove my fingers. She slowly opens her eyes and her breathing evens out. I lick her juices off my fingers and I watch her eyes darken with desire. I get off of her and stand up. Much like the first time we hand sex, I grab her hips and pull her down the bed until her hips are in line with the foot of the bed. She smiles at me knowingly. I grab her pants and pull them down her legs, her panties along with them, and I kiss my way up her legs. I nip at her thigh a few times and switch to the other leg and kiss my way up that one too. I nip at her other thigh and then I move up to her center. I hear her hold her breath and I dive into her with my tongue. She releases her breath with a moan and she grips the sheets. I put one of her legs over my shoulder and the other around my waist. I eat her out and lap up her juices until she’s screaming with ecstasy. When she comes, I continue lapping her up until she’s dry and then I kiss my way up her body. I kiss her stomach several times and I kiss the valley between her breasts. I untie the bow between the cups of her bra and I lavish her rosy nipples. She’s coming undone beneath me once again and I just nip and suck her breasts. After her third orgasm, she sits up on her elbows again. She sits up and slides her bra straps down her arms and tosses it on the floor. She points to my pants and I take them off.

She motions for me to come toward her and I do. She grabs my cock in her hands and pumps me a few times. Then she places her lips around my head. She’s licking and sucking my tip and it’s driving me crazy. She slowly takes the rest of me Into her mouth inch by inch and she smiles the whole time. My hands tangle in her hair and she starts working me with her mouth. I can feel her throat muscles around me cock and she’s sucking roughly on my member and I can feel my precum spilling out. She just smiles and continues sucking me. I can’t hold back anymore and I start thrusting my hips I to her face and fuck her mouth. I came Into her with a roar and she just continued to suck me until I came down from my high. I push on her head and she releases me. I lean down and kiss her. I can taste our mixed flavors and it’s delicious. I lean over her and I enter her with my finger. She’s ready for me. I grab my erection and line up with her entrance. I enter her and go to the hilt. She moans and I kiss her parted lips. I pull out and thrust back into her. I continue with a rhythm and I can feel her getting there. I pinch and squeeze her nipple and she wraps her legs around my waist. My other hand is on her hip and she’s holding onto my shoulders. I can feel her nails digging into my flesh and I just increased my pressure. 

“Faster.” She says.

I obey and increase my speed. The friction is blissful and I can feel my own orgasm building. 

“Harder.” She says through labored breaths.

I increase the pressure and I’m pumping in and out of her roughly. I can feel her walls tighten around me and her orgasm builds. She is almost there and I continue to lavish her breasts and I pick up the pace of my thrusts. She’s so wet that I slide deeply to the hilt each time hitting her in just the right spot each time. I’m about to climax when her thighs tighten around me and her walls clench my hard erection. She comes and I follow. I spill myself into her and she kisses me down from my high. She gently rubs my back and I muzzle her neck.

“Four times. Not bad for a new dad.” She says with a smirk.

“Well you just wait. We still have several more hours left. I have a record to beat. I’m going to make you come at least 12 times tonight.” I reply with a smile. 

I nip at her neck. She tugs my head up and kisses me. I’m still inside her and she doesn’t seem to want to move. I deepen the kiss. It’s going to be the best night we’ve hand in a year.


	2. The surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn and Tom spend a lot of time connecting 😏😉😉

Our day off together was wonderful. I finally felt content and loved. Tom made sure I knew how much he loved me. After he returned to duty, I went to the holodeck. Tom made me a program to represent a spa. I got a massage and all the works. It felt wonderful. 

I picked up the girls from Neelix and went for a walk. I had Shannon and Hailey wrapped on my front. They are wrapped in reddish copper cloth. I make my way through the decks and nod at the other crew members. I stop in the airponics bay to see the flowers when I bump into Kes.

“Hello, Captain. How are you all doing?” She asks with a smile.

“Hey, Kes. We are doing just fine. I thought I’d take them for a walk.” I reply.

“I just planted some new flowers. Would you like to see them?” Kes asks.

“Of course.” I reply with a smile.

I follow her through the rows until we stop. Shannon has started moving so I start rubbing her back and gently rock. The flowers are beautiful. They are purple with large oval shaped petals and cloud like tips. The center is a sunset orange and they have black spots.

“They’re beautiful, Kes.” I say with a smile.

She smiles back. We chat for a bit longer then I leave to finish my walk. 

When I return to my quarters, I place them in their cribs and they take a nap. I run a bath and submerge myself in the vanilla scented water. I start relaxing. After about twenty minutes, I hear the doors open. I hear the footsteps head toward the nursery then quietly walk toward me.

“Kathryn?” Tom says softly.

“In here.” I reply gently.

He walks in and kneels at the side of the tub. 

“How was your day, love?” He asks with a kiss.

“It was good. I had my spa treatment, I took the girls for a walk, I spoke to Kes, I put the girls down for a nap, I ran a bath, and now I’m talking to the man I love, so I’d say I had a pretty great day.” I say with a smile.

Tom leans down and kisses me. I deepen the kiss and his hand slides to my neck.

“Wanna join me?” I ask huskily.

He smiles then begins to undress.

“Computer, drain tub 15% then increase temperature by seven degrees. Then play Mozart’s first concertó. Symphony number 3. One eighth volume.” I say.

The computer complies and Tom joins me in the tub.

“Hi.” I say with a smirk.

“Hi yourself.” He says.

He grabs my neck and kisses me. My hands slide up his chest and wrap around his neck and shoulders. I deepen the kiss and he slides his tongue past my lips. His teeth nip at my bottom lip and his tongue slides against mine. We break for air.

“How quiet can you be?” He asks, trailing nips down my neck and jaw.

“Very.” I breathe out.

He pulls me toward him until I’m straddling him with my knees against the back of the tub. His hands roam my back and mine are around his neck. I’m quietly gasping and moaning and he bites my shoulder and neck. He sucks at my neck and nips at my collarbones. I can feel his erection pressing into my thigh. I slide one of my hands down his chest and move his lips to meet mine. I continue my journey south until I reach his penis. I sit up on my knees and pump his erection until his precum coats my hand. He’s moaning into my mouth and his nails are taking down my back. I pull back from our kiss and suck at his neck. My hand is still working his hard member. His hands slide to my breasts. He rests them just under my breasts and pushes them up. I moan and he leans down and kisses the tips of them. He slides his fingers to cover my nipples and pushes them up further. He’s nipping and sucking at them, leaving marks. I moan softly at his ministrations. 

He takes a nipple in his mouth and sucks it to a peak. He pinched and squeezes the other one. His free hand roams down my body to the apex of my thighs. He brushes my center and I moan. He switches breasts and right when he latches into my other nipple, he enters me with two fingers. I cover my mouth with my hand to quiet my moans. He started pumping in and out of me with his fingers while his mouth leaves hickies across my chest and breasts, as well as up my neck on both sides, behind my ears, and on my jaw. He kisses my lips with a bruising force and adds a third finger. His other hand had found my clit and is pinching the small bundle. I moan into his mouth. My arms circle his neck and I push myself flush against him. He changes the angle of his hand and hits my g-spot with his finger. I can feel my climax building. I can also feel his rock hard erection on my leg. We break out kiss and I lift up my hips. I grab his erection and position it at my dripping entrance. Tom removes his hands and I slide down on him. The friction is wonderful. My tight center stretches around him as he fills me. He’s to the hilt. He lightly nips at my neck and I rock my hips.

His hands have found their usual purchase on my breasts and every time I rock my hips just right, he squeezes my breasts together roughly. It’s a maddening sense overload and it’s wonderful. I can feel my juices being smeared on my breasts. He locks eyes with me then proceeds to lick my juices off of my breasts with his hot, wet tongue. I moan. I start riding him harder and faster. I sit back, my hands flat behind me, and my legs pushing us from the back of the tub to the center. I lean back and it changes our angle. 

My legs are flat and his knees are right in my back. I wrap my ankle around his waist and push myself onto him. He slides in even deeper and we both moan. I continue to do this and he gets deeper and deeper. He slides his hands to my hips.

“Spread your legs and knees as far as you can, babe.” Tom instructs.

I uncross my ankles and spread my knees as far as I can.

“Wait. Move so your back is facing the side of the tub. It’ll give me more space to move my legs.” I say.

He grabs my waist and rotates us. I spread my legs as far as they can possibly go. Tom grips my hips hard and slides me into him. The roughness of it makes me moan. He slams me into him over and over.he slides two fingers into my center to increase the friction. My juices coat his hand as he flicks his thumb over my clit. I can feel my climax peeking. He lifts me up a few inches then slams me into him so hard that he goes in so deep I can feel him in my entire body. I start to shudder and he slaps his hand over my mouth, two of his fingers going in my mouth. I can taste myself on his fingers as I come with a muffled scream. He kisses my jaw as I come down from my high. I start slamming onto him again to get him to come as well. His breathing is erratic and I clench my inner muscles around him. He erupts into me and I silence his orgasm with a bruising kiss. He empties himself into me and bites my lip. We break our kiss to catch our breath. I nip at his neck and he rubs his hands over my back.

“You are so beautiful, Kat,” he says.

I smile and continue to mark his neck with love bites. I can feel him going soft Inside of me so I decide to work him up again. I slide one of my hands down to where we are joined and tease him. I start biting at his neck and shoulder and I move my hips in a slow circle. He moans into my hair and I can feel him expand inside of me. I let out a moan. I slide my hand back up his chest and begin to slowly ride him. I lean back a little bit and move up into my knees and slam back down onto him. He’s securely sheathed inside of me and I can feel his climax building. He grips my hips and slides me back and forth across his erection. He nips at my shoulder and I rake my nails through the hair and the base of his neck which my arms wrapped around him. I slide up and slam back down a few more times and he’s grunting and moaning with each thrust. I circle my hips and he slides deeper into me. I clench my walls around him and he comes with a deep bite to my shoulder. I hiss then I rub his back as he comes down from his high. I can feel his cum dripping down onto my feet from our angle. I kiss his lips when he removes his mouth from my shoulder. He deepens the kiss and I open my mouth to him. He slides his tongue along mine and one of his hands slides up to my breast. He pinched my nipple and moan into his mouth. We break for air.

“I think we should continue this in a bed. The water is no longer clean and warm.” Tom says as he kisses my neck.

I nod but I make no move to get up because I like the feeling of him inside of me and I don't want it to stop.

“Babe, I can enter you again but we need to move. Come on. If we want to get a few more rounds in before nap time is over.” He says with a peck to my shoulder.

I sigh and nod. I lift up and off of him and I whimper at the loss of contact. I stand up and grab my robe. I go into the sonic dryer and dry off. I put on my robe and wait for Tom. I’m standing in the center of our bedroom.

I feel his arms wrap around me from behind and he sucks at my neck. He slides one hand into the opening of my robe and strokes my breast. I moan. I turn around in his arms and we both untie each other’s robes. Tom slides mine down my arms and off and I return the favor. 

He kisses me and grabs my hips. He pushes my back until we topple onto the bed. I spread my knees to go on either side of his hips and lay my feet flat on the mattress. He slides a hand down my body to my center. We break for air and he kisses me again. He pushes his tongue through my lips and enters me with two fingers. I gasp and he slides his other hand down my body as well. He rubs it over both of my breasts, creating a rough friction in my nipples and adds a third finger. His other hand joins in and punches my clit. I moan.

“Shhhhh. Babe, you gotta be quiet if you want to continue. If you’re not quiet I’m going to stop.” He says.

I nod.

He adds a fourth finger and I can feel myself stretch around his hand. The friction of his dry hands inside of me is delicious. He kisses me to keep me quiet and angles his fingers just right. With one more thrust of his hand, I’m coming with a muffled scream. He keeps kissing me until I’ve calmed down. I’m panting and he removes his hands from me. He licks his fingers clean then kisses his way down my body. He lavishes my breasts and leaves a few love bites and continues. He slides off of me and the bed and slides me to the edge of the bed. He leans down and kisses my stomach several times then he kisses my thigh. He bites and sucks at it until I’m covered everywhere in marks. He kisses yo my thigh the stops at my sex. He kisses my lower lips then enters me with his tongue. I moan and grip the sheets. He grabs one of my legs and places it over his shoulder and does the same with the other one. My thighs are around his neck and my knees spread open as far as they can to give better access to me. He fucks me with his tongue until I’m about to climax then he bites down on my clit. He slaps a hand over my mouth to muffle my orgasmic screams and cries. He continues eating me out until there’s nothing left. He then drops my legs to the bed and licks my juices off his chin and face. He leans down and kisses me. 

“My turn.” I say as I sit up. 

He smiles and nods. He moves to the chair in the corner and sits down. I move to follow him.

I go to his chair and sit on his lap. His erection pressing into my thigh. I rotate my torso on his lap a few times then I kiss him. I slide off of his lap and onto the floor on my knees. My hands are on his thighs and his are tangled in my hair and around my neck. I slide one of my hands to his half hard erection and lean forward. I place my lips on his head and begin my teasing. He slides his other hand to my hair and pulls. I continue servicing him. I have him all the way into my mouth and am clenching my throat muscles around him. I can taste his precum and increase my movements. He erupts into the back of my throat and I swallow all he has to offer me. He slides his hands down to my breasts and flicks my nipples over and over again as he kneads my breasts. I continue to suck him until I can taste his second orgasm tipping over. When he comes the second time in my mouth, he digs his nails into my breasts and nipples. I hiss around his cock. I suck him until all of his cum is out of his cock and I lick him as I release him. I then grab his balls and place them on my tongue. I gently Bite down and he digs into my flesh again. I suck each ball until it’s purple and blue. He then pulls me to kiss him. He stood both of us up and shoved me into the wall. He grabs my hips and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and he slams his erection into me. I scream into his mouth and he pushes himself flush against me. He thrusts in and out of me harder and faster each time. He releases my lips and lavishes my hard nipples. His free hand slides to where we are joined and he pinches my clit. I come with a silent scream and he empties himself into me seconds later. We’re both panting and he drops me down. He kisses me again and we stumble until we fall over the couch.

“Bend over the arm of the couch and spread your legs.” He says.

I do as he says.

He comes behind me and grabs my hips. He slams into me so hard and so deep that I scream into the couch cushions. He leaves me then slams into me even harder. This time it’s rough, hard and fast. It’s only about release because we’re getting tired. I push myself up and rest my weight on my hands. I match him thrust for the side until I can feel his spill into me as he bites my shoulder blade. He keeps thrusting until I come as well. We both collapse into the couch with him still inside of me. He kisses my back and shoulders as our breathing returns to normal. I can feel him inside of me still and he pushes forward to kiss my neck. He slides deeper into me and I moan. He trails light kisses along my exposed flesh until his flaccid member slips out of me. I whimper at the loss but we both stand up. We head into the bedroom and put on pajamas. We slide under the covers.

“Wow. That was intense.” He says as he strokes my arm.

“Yeah i came five times and you came six. I think we got quite a bit of exercise tonight.” I say.

“Yeah. We’re going to need a dermal regenerator because we are both sporting hickies everywhere.” He says.

I chuckle. He kisses me sweetly. I’m wrapped in his arms and my head is pressed against his chest. Our legs are tangled together. We both drift off into a blissful sleep.

**/\\**

The next week, Tom has been on the holodeck a lot. He’s always there but won’t tell me anything about it. This morning, he told me to stop by Sam’s quarters with the girls and meet him at our place at 2100 hours. I do so. When I returned to my quarters, Tom was waiting with a bouquet of red roses.

“Aww. What’s the occasion?” I ask, reaching for the flowers.

“The occasion is I love you and you deserve it.” He said with a kiss.

I smile. Tom takes my hand and walks me over to the table. All of my favorite foods are there. It’s wonderful. 

“How was your day, my beautiful girlfriend?” He asks as he pushes my chair in behind me.

“It was wonderful, thank you, Tom.” I say, placing my hand on his cheek and kissing him.

“I’m glad. Sam is keeping the girls tonight because I have a special surprise planned for you, my dear.” He says with a kiss.

He moves and sits across from me.

“Hey, I know this will make you uncomfortable, but, how do you feel about Mark? Have you moved on from him completely?” He asks.

I’m a little taken aback. I think it through. Wow. I have moved on. I haven’t thought about him in over a year now. 

“Yeah, Tom. I’m completely committed to you and our little family.” I say with a smile.

He smiles back and I start eating. God I’m starving.

“I’m so glad. I love you, Kat. I want you to know that.” He says, lacing his fingers through mine.

“I do. I love you too.” I say.

We eat in a comfortable silence. Later, Tom tells me he wants to take me to the holodeck for my surprise. He has me change into a strapless black cocktail dress with a sweetheart neckline and a black pair of stilettos. He has me put in a leather jacket. While he changes, I put on some makeup and brush my hair. It’s cascading in soft waves down my back.

Tom looks really hot in his jeans, black shirt and leather jacket. I’m turned on just looking at him. He takes my hand and we head to the holodeck. He keys in the code and we enter. I gasp at what I see.

It’s a moonlight botanical garden with a water fountain in the center. There is a small cafe and classical music playing in the background. There are rose petals lining the path up to the water fountain. Tom takes my hand and we walk towards the fountain. 

“Wow, you look stunning, Kat.” He says with a smile.  
He leans down and kisses me. I wrap my arms around his neck.

“I can’t believe you did all of this for me.” I say.

“I would do anything for you. Now c'mon, there’s still more.” He says, taking my hand.

We walk around to a lake. The moonlight is glistening off the water. There are rose petals everywhere and I can feel that something big is going to happen. Tom grabs my hand to stop me. He kisses me then pulls back. He reaches into his pocket and grabs something. Then he bends down in one knee. I gasp as I cover my mouth with both my hands.

“I know we’ve only been together a short while and I know you just got over a fiancé, but I love you, and I don't want to go another day without asking you. Every time we are apart, my heart aches for you. I never tire of looking at you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be your husband and have the honor of calling you my wife. Kathryn Janeway, will you marry me?” He says.

My heart is hammering in my chest and I think I forgot how to breathe. I can’t believe it. I’m so happy.

“Yes. I would love to marry you, Tom. I love you.” I say, fighting back tears.

He smiles and slips the ring in my finger. It’s a rose gold band with a square shape and has an emerald as the center jewel. It’s almost an inch, with three sets of diamonds around it. It’s beautiful.

“How many rations did this cost you?” I ask with a smile.

He smirks and kisses me within an inch of my life.

“Six months but it was worth it to see that smile.” He says with another kiss.

“I was so not expecting this. What will the crew think?” I ask.

My arm is wrapped around his shoulders and his are at my waist.

“I think that they will be thrilled that you’re taking that next step with me. I love you and I’m so damn lucky you found me.” He says with a kiss.

We enjoy the rest of our hour exploring the garden and the Cafe. We head back to our quarters.

Once inside, my fiancé (ahhh I love saying that) pulls me flush against him and kisses me with a bruising force. We enjoy a long round of love making until the early hours of the morning. We get an hour of sleep and we are both covered in hickies and incredibly sore but it doesn’t matter because we are going to get married someday soon and I can’t wait to become Kathryn Paris


	3. Pre-Resolutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pre Resolutions guys we knew this was gonna happen. It’s gonna get better I promise.

When I wake up the next morning, my legs are really sore and I can feel the nail marks on my back. It hurts but it was so worth it. 

I look over and see that Kathryn is still sleeping. She’s sleeping on her stomach. Her hands are under her pillow and her entire back is exposed. I can see all the marks I left last night. I gently rub my hands across her warm skin. She stirs slightly and turns her face toward me. 

I check the time and realize that we should’ve been up ten minutes ago. 

I rest my head in my hand with my weight supported on my elbow. I gently run my index finger up Kathryn’s arm and to her hair. Then I lean down and press gentle kisses up her arm, all over her back, and up her neck. She rolls onto her back. Her breasts are exposed and I begin a new trail of kisses. I kiss down her neck and across her chest. I gently suck each nipple then continue to kiss her torso. I make my way back up and kiss her jaw. I claim her lips and she finally responds. 

She opens her mouth and moans. We pull apart. I smile down at her and she smiles back. Her arms wrap around my neck and my hand is roaming her side while the other supports my weight.

“Good morning.” She says.

“Good morning, love. We should’ve been up 15 minutes ago. So we need to hurry and just get food later.” I say.

She nods but makes no move to get up. I lean down and capture her lips. Her hands roam my back and I push my tongue into her mouth. She moans as I slide my hand just under her breast. I press several kisses to her lips.

“Ok. We need to get up, babe. We both need a shower after last night.” I say. 

I kiss her jaw between each word.

She groans. I slide off of her and head into the bathroom. I can hear her following me. We’re already naked so I just start the sonic cycle. We both stand. She kisses me as our blues are cleaned. Once the cycle is done, Kathryn wraps her arms around my neck.

“So tell me about this big wedding you are planning for me. I want to know what my future husband is going to do to make it worth the two other times I didn’t go through with it.” She says with a smirk.

I place my hands on her hips. I pull her flush against me.

“Well, you see, Captain Paris, I have been brainstorming ideas for a holoprogram to impress my fiancé but I feel like her I put is necessary to continue.” I say, kissing her passionately.

Our energy changes. We’re no longer pleasantly bantering. Now we’re being rough and hard and fast. I back her into the wall with a bit of force. She moans.

I grip her thigh and she wraps it around my waist. I’m half hard feeling her heat from her center rubbing off my thigh. I shove my knee between hers and create a rough rhythm. She moans and pulls me even closer. My hands move to her breasts and I roughly squeeze them together as my tongue assaults her mouth. Her moans are getting higher pitched and I’m so hard it hurts. I pushed her leg over with my foot and she spreads herself open. The leg around my waist tightens. I grab my rock hard cock and position it at her dripping entrance. I shove into her hard and I’m to the hilt. We both moan at the incredible feeling of just fucking each other. I pull out of her and shove back in even harder. It slams her hard into the wall but she doesn’t seem to care. 

I relajase her breasts and grip her hips. Her fingernails dig trails of red lines on my back. The pain makes me even harder and I continue slamming into her. She adjusts her leg and pushes me deeper into her. I can feel my climax building and I know she’s close too. I grip her waist and shove her up the wall. I hold her hips with such force I leave marks. I pull out of her completely and drop her to the ground. She grunts. I try to think of a better way to do this to make our release fast. 

“Support your weight on the wall and bend over just enough.” I say.

She nods and does it. Her arms are fully outstretched and she sticks her ass out. She bends down even further, revealing her sex to my eyes. She’s dripping and so ready for me to come in her. 

I grip my hips and shove myself in to her as deep as I can possibly go. She moans and I grunt. I slide one of my hands up to her breast and roughly squeeze it. She bucks her hips backward, sending me in even deeper. My hips are pressed so far into her ass I don’t think I can pull out. I start pumping my hips and create a rhythm. I can feel her walls clench around me and I know I’m going to come. When we just fuck each other like this, it all about release, only about our own selfish needs not the other persons. I slam into her two more times and I shove into her so deep there is no way we can separate without help. I erupt into her and my seed fills her. She comes as soon as I release my cum and she opens up and the seed flows through. Once I’m empty and she’s calmed down, I pull her flush against me and step backwards. She’s still panting.

“I don’t think I can pull myself out of you. I’m in there deep, babe.” I say as I caress her stomach.

“I know. It feels fucking amazing. But right now, let’s just enjoy being connected.” She says. I wrap my arms around her breasts and she lays her hands on top of my arms. I kiss her neck lightly and we sway slightly. 

She starts another sonic cycle, but keeps me inside of her. The sonic shower cleans us. Once we are done, Kathryn won’t move.

“Babe, we’ve got to go. We’re gonna be late.” I say with a kiss to her shoulder.

“I don’t want to. I want to just stay like this with you buried very deep inside of me and just feeling your arms around me. I don’t want it to end.” She says with a Whiney voice.

“Babe, we can continue this after, but we need to work. I can always ask Sam to babysit one more night. We can have sex for hours. But we need to go to our shifts.” I say, trailing hot wet kisses on her shoulder.

She moans and it makes me half hard again. She moans as I expand inside of her.

I step back and my half hard cock slips out of her. She lets out a whiney groan and moves to get dressed. 

Once we are dressed, she looks at her engagement ring. She smiles. She takes it off and puts in on a necklace chain. She slides the necklace over her head and buries it under her uniform.

We kiss then leave. 

**/\\**

“Sickbay to bridge.” The Doctor says 

“Go head, Doctor.” Tuvok says.

“Please have Mr Paris report to sickbay. It’s about the Captain.” He says.

I run to sickbay. When the doors open, Kathryn and Chakotay are unconscious on bio beds.

“What’s wrong with her?” I ask.

“They were both bitten by something down on the planet surface. I can’t find a cure. I’m going to put them in a force field to wake them to put them in stasis but after that, I’m afraid I don’t know what to do.” He says.

“Wait so what are you saying? You can’t find a cure for a bug bite and now my fiancé and the mother of my children won’t be able to come out of stasis?” I ask angrily.

“Mr Paris, I understand that you are upset, but I am trying everything I can. I don’t want to lose them either.” He says.

“Can I approach her?” I ask.

“Yes, as far as I know they are not contagious.” He says.

I approach Kathryn. She looks so peaceful. I grab her hand. Her skin is warm. 

The doctor comes over. He presses a hypo spray into her neck.

“This should wake her, but you only have about ten minutes before she needs to go back under until I can set up the force fields.” The Doctor says.

I nod. Kathryn stirs. She slowly opens her eyes and looks at me.

“What happened?” She asks with a croaky voice.

“You and Chakotay were bitten by a bug and have a virus. He’s trying to find a cure but you’re going to have to go into stasis because you can’t stay in this atmosphere, it could kill you.” I say, gently rubbing my thumb across her hand.

She just looks at me.

“Well, damn.” She says as she looks up and rests her arm over her eyes.

“It’s going to be ok, babe. The doctor will find a cure and then you can hug your kids and we can get married and you can get Voyager home.” I say.

She smiles weakly.

“Hey, it’s gonna be ok.” I say.

I lean down and kiss her lips. She wraps her free hand around my neck. She deepens the kiss. We pull apart and I just stare into her blue grey eyes. She’s scared. 

“It’s gonna be ok.” I repeat.

I kiss her again. We kiss several more times. She’s starting to cry. 

She sits up and I slide next to her on the bed. I wrap my arms around her and she cries into my chest. I just hold her.

The doctor tells me that she could be in stasis forever or be forced to live on the planet for the rest of her life. It appears the universe doesn’t want us to be happy.


	4. Resolutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have entered resolutions. Sorry for the delay. I’ve had writers block.

I awake from stasis down on the planet surface. I look over and nod to Chakotay. We both open up our chambers and sit up.

“Sickbay to the Captain. This is the Doctor speaking.”

“You’ve brought us out of stasis. I assume you have news.” I reply, looking around the planet.

“Yes.” He pauses.

I feel my stomach drop. This can’t be good.

“Our sensors show your vital signs are normal. How are you feeling?” He says.

“We’re fine. How long were we in stasis?” I ask. I want to know how long I’ve been without seeing my family.

“A total of 17 days.” He responds.

“That long?” I ask. Tom must be worried sick.

“I wanted to exhaust every possibility of finding a cure.” He says slowly.

“And?” I urge. I want to beam back to the ship and hold my children and kiss my fiancé.

“I regret to inform you that I have been unsuccessful.” He says sadly.

FUCK! DAMNIT!! God what am I supposed to do now? How is Tom holding up? How are my children? How is my ship? What is happening?!

“I have not been able to develop a counter agent for the virus, and I have no other options to explore.” He says.

I start walking away from the stasis chamber to calm my emotions. I can feel the tears threatening to fall.

“What about keeping us in stasis aboard Voyager ?” Chakotay asks, slowly approaching me.

I shake my head and he stops.

“Something in the planet’s environment is shielding you from the effects of the virus. If you leave, you’ll risk a recurrence of the disease, which would undoubtedly prove fatal. The only option I can think of at the moment is contacting the Vidiians. They have sophisticated medical technology. It’s possible they might be able to help.” The Doctor says.

“We’ll take it under advisement, Doctor. Thank you for your efforts. Janeway out.” I say. My voice sounds steadier than I thought it would.

I bite my lip to hold back my tears.

“What do you think?” I ask Chakotay.

“It’s risky. The Vidiians have never shown any willingness to help us. It’s more likely they’d attack Voyager and try to harvest body parts from the crew.” He says.

“Agreed. I just want to make sure we’re not overlooking a possible alternative.” I say.

I can hear the desperation in my voice.

“Could we live with ourselves, knowing we’d sent Voyager into that kind of danger?” He says.

I think of what they would do to Tom and Hailey and Shannon and Samantha and Naomi and I know I have to leave my family behind in order to save them.

“Janeway to Tuvok.” I say, tapping my combadge.

“I’m here, Captain.” He says.

“You must be aware of the doctor’s report.”

“Yes.”

“I’m turning over command of the ship to you on a permanent basis. Your orders are to resume a course for the Alpha Quadrant. And regardless of the doctor’s suggestion, you are not to make contact with the Vidiians.”

“I understand.”

“I’ll prepare a message for the crew.” I say. I look back at Chakotay.

I don't know how I am going to do this.

“Well then, I guess I better comm. Tom. I need to tell him my decision.” I say.

I tap my combadge.

“Janeway to Paris.” I say.

“Go ahead, Captain.” He says.

“Are you alone?” I ask, walking away from Chakotay so he can’t hear my conversation.

“I’m in our quarters with Hailey and Shannon.” He says.

“Honey, I’m so sorry this has happened to me. It looks like I can't ever leave this planet. Tuvok has orders to leave me and Commander Chakotay behind.” I hold my hand up to my mouth to fight back my tears as they spill and voice cracks with emotion.

“I feel like a terrible partner and mother right now and I feel like I’m abandoning my family, but I have no choice, Tom. It’s the only way to keep the three of you safe.” I say. 

My tears are spilling hotly down my cheeks and my voice is thick with emotion. I can hear Hailey making noises so Tom must be holding her.

“Kat, I understand. I know it’s going to be so hard without you, but I will not let anything happen to them, I promise. As for us, I just have to hope that you find a cure and come back home to me. I love you, Kathryn and I can’t explain how hard letting you go will be.” He says.

I can hear the emotion in his voice.

“I’ll have B’Elanna beam down everything you need. Then we can face chat before we leave orbit.” He says.

“Ok. I love you, Tom. So much.” I say through tears.

“I love you too. We’ll get through this.” He says.

**/\\**

“Janeway to Tuvok” I say.

“Yes, Captain?” He replies.

“We’ve received the transport. Well check it over and let you know if we’re missing anything.” I say.

“I will remain in orbit until I hear from you. And, after that, we can still remain in communication for approximately 36 hours.”

“I’ll contact you before the day is over. Janeway out.” I say.

I turn towards Chakotay and our pile of things.

“It looks like they transported the contents to the whole ship.” He says.

“We may have to be here for a while. Besides, they can’t transport the man I love and my two beautiful daughters.” I say bitterly.

“Petri dishes, protein analyzer, DNA sequencers. Everything I need for my research is here.” I say, opening the case.

He approaches me.

“Do you really think you can find a cure?” He asks.

“It may take a while, but, yes, I do. I’ll do whatever it takes to get back to my family.” I say, picking items out of the case roughly.

He can tell I’m upset. 

“I’m sorry, Captain. I know this must be hard for you. I’m only leaving behind friends and colleagues. You’re leaving behind your family. Two baby girls and a Tom.” He says. 

“You’re right, you don’t understand. When Tom left for the Talaxian convoy I was devastated. I didn’t know how I was going to be a mother without him. And now I have to also leave behind my children. So yes, I will do whatever it takes to find a cure. If I can find a specimen of the insect that infected us, I can begin analyzing protein cofactors. That might give us the information we need to find out what it is in this environment that’s keeping us from being sick and how to replicate it.” I say.

He just nods and looks at me the entire time.

**/\\**

I comm. Tom later that night.

“Hey, Kat. —- Look who it is. It’s mommy!” He says adorably to Hailey and Shannon who are sitting in his lap.

“Hey baby!” I say, waving.

They just giggle and I smile.

“How’re you holding up, babe?” He asks me.

“I’m fine. I just wish I could be there right now and hold them. And I want to kiss you. God, I miss you so much. This isn’t fair!” I say.

“I know. But we can’t change it. I just hope you can find a cure soon so I can hold you again.” He says.

I nod. I place my hand on the screen and he does the same.

“I love you, Tom. And I love them. Do you have everything you need? I asked Kes to get you a good formula recipe. And I made screen recordings for them so they can hear my voice.” I say.

He smiles at me.

“I’ve got everything, Kat. Did you get everything I sent you? I also got you copies of all the pics of our little family.” He says, looking at the girls.

“Yeah, I got everything.” I say.

“I love you, Kathryn.” He says sadly.

“I know. I love you too.” I say with tears.

We say goodbye and I sit there crying. 

**/\\**

I’m checking my traps the following morning. This planet reminds me of a primitive Earth. It’s truly beautiful.

“Catch anything?” Chakotay asks.

“Just the same ones as yesterday, and they don’t seem to carry the pathogen that infected us. — where have you been?” I ask after my explanation as I turn to look at him.

“Oh, in the woods.” He says, and we start walking.

“For the past two days, you’ve been spending a lot of time in the woods. Is something going on I should know about?” I ask while checking another trap just outside our shelter.

“Uh, not yet.”

“Not yet? What’s thT supposed to mean?” I ask curiously.

“It means, when it’s time for you to know, I’ll tell you.” He says mysteriously.

“Don’t I even get hints?” I ask playfully.

“I’m building something.” He says, walking away from me.

I stare at him incredulously.

“Building? What could you be building? And why can’t you tell me?” I ask chasing after him.

“You can’t stand it, can you?” He asks, pointing a tool at me with a smile.

I smile back.

“You’re like a little kid, wheedling.” He says.

I laugh and we stand just inches apart.

“Tuvok to Janeway.”

And the sense of joy is lost.

**/\\**

“Kathryn, calm down. I’m sure they’re fine.” He says.

“I can’t calm down, Chakotay! I can’t stop thinking about them.” I yell.

He wraps in a hug. I melt into his embrace. Whatever happens next, at least I have Chakotay.


End file.
